- The existence of nutella. So good, but so wrong.
- All instances of Tara Reid, but most especially these horrifying photos (NSFW, and truly frightening)
- Stealthy fart smells, especially on the subway and when taking the streetcar down King street. I used to think people were rude, then I realized that the city just smells bad. Well, and people are rude.
- That time when I capped off staying awake for over eighty consecutive hours by eating a massive plate of Mongo Bongo (plastic-mall food-stir fry) and riding the so-called “Death Rollercoaster” in West Edmonton Mall. Dear innocent bystanders: I apologize.
- Three words: 80’s hair metal. What was I thinking?
- The advertising jingle “Everybody loves Marineland.”
- Actually thinking that doing the splits in front of Karen H. would impress her, and then trying to do so while wearing tight jeans. In front of many witnesses. Grade 7 was a very long year.
- Feliz-fucking-Navidad.
- The night when I got into a substance-induced bellowing match with a poor Salisbury House employee over the deluded idea that calling their hamburgers “nips” was a racist act.
- Convincing myself she meant no, when she actually meant yes.
Anything you wish you could forget?
